Lisa Shouldice MA, RP, CCP, Psychotherapist

I have been rereading a well-known book by a pioneer in marital research, John Gottman. He has spent his career researching marriage and what makes it last as well as being satisfying for both partners. What struck me in that most of us assume healthy communication is the key. Marriage therapy often at least includes an element of this if it is not the main target. As a couple counsellor, most people that call me for couple counselling say their main issue to communication. BUT according...

Picture it….Mother’s Day and you’re going in the in-laws to “celebrate”, but your partner’s relationship with their mother is a bit of a train wreck!? Ouff. Do you suddenly feel sick? What is your role? How do you support your partner in a healthy way?

I would suggest that it is to be supportive, but not over involved. What does that mean? It is natural to feel protective of you partner, but please remember that it is their battle ...

Today I will practice what I preach and send gratitude out to the universe!

I am so lucky to be a therapist. I knew I wanted to be a therapist from the age of about 12. I was reading a book called “I Never Promised You a Rose Garden”, by Joanne Greenberg (1964) when my calling was revealed to me. This is a semi-autobiographical novel about a young (teenage) woman that spends four years in a mental institution. Her struggle and hard work is guided by a bril...

The best way to deal with difficult feeling is to “sit” with them for awhile. Not to get stuck and stay there for too long, but to learn how to feel it, listen for the wisdom, receive the teaching and let it go. All feelings are a part of who we are for a reason. Learn to use feelings as a tool to support your life and you will love them, even the tough ones.

Use to ground when dissociating from difficult feelings.

Place both of your fe...

Try this! See how it makes you feel. Observe if your day goes differently.

I surrender to the universal, guiding, healing and loving energy of the universe.

Please help me to be open to guidance and insight.

Please guide my eyes to see, my ears to hear, my thoughts to be healthy, my mouth to speak clearly and with compassion, my hands to heal and connect.

Help me to be changed by the people I meet today.

 ...

When you are having intense feelings or going through a time of transformation, undergoing lots of changes, writing or journalling can be very helpful. Especially if you find yourself feeling preoccupied about something in your life.

The process of journalling about emotional topics engages both sides of the brain and helps to process in a different way than other tools you may use. Try this:

Sit in quiet, private space with the intention of writing for...

Article currently published in April edition of Hi-Rise Community Newspaper

Canada’s new immigrant population faces myriad challenges when joining us here, in search of a new and different life. These difficult adjustments frequently lead to depressive symptoms for these courageous people. If you are a new-comer to Canada this is likely obvious, if you are not, this article may contain some new ideas.

Moving an entire family is a huge ste...

Is your relationship healthy? Do you need to work on intimacy with your partner? Take the test! 10 questions to help you figure out if you need to re-focus your energy on your relationship.

1. Do you trust your partner?

Huge question! Do not just consider sexual fidelity but whether you would trust them to do an important errand or plan an important event without your guidance or intervention.

2. Do you enjoy your partner’s c...

Anxiety is like a temperature. A temperature tells you there is an infection or virus in your body. Anxiety is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong in your emotional centre. It means “too much”, “overload”, “this is too much to handle”. So the first step is too LISTEN and figure out what you can change in your life to decrease your stress level. Too much change at once is naturally going to lead to increased anxiety. This is a time ...

Coming Out to Family & Friends

Wow! Congratulations on making this decision! But isn’t it terrifying too?! Every experience of deciding to tell your social circle you are gay, lesbian or bisexual is different. It is also unpredictable. You may assume it will be Ok because you have an open-minded parent, BUT there is a difference between being open to anyone else being LGBT and your own child. This can be a challenge for any parent. I do not say this ...