Grief as a Physiological Experience
I have found that grief is one of the most physical experiences of our lives. It is a heavy, weighted thing that debilitates us and makes it harder to function. If coupled with the holidays? So hard to do all the extras that are often expected of us. As an Emotion-focused therapist I have found the best way to deal with it is to let it flow through you. The heaviness is when it stops, stuck in our bodies, weighing us down and affecting our moods and health. Feeling it, sitting with it is what helps it move through. Give yourself some space to sob it out. It is intense but you are carrying it anyway. I want you feel relief.
If you are worried about being overheard, try journaling. Use a free flow, stream of consciousness style that and don't worry about punctuation. Just get it out. You may be surprised at the pain on the page. Most grief is more than loss. It is what something represents, pieces of our identify or safety in the world. This often leads to feeling anxious feelings are the death of a loved one as well.
Write down the healthiest coping strategies you have to remember them. That way you are less likely to reach for the easier, less healthy ones. Drinking alcohol, over-eating and simple dissociation are common and likely not helpful long-term, creating other issues in our lives and relationships.
Sit and feel. Talk to a trusted other. You will get through this.