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  • Writer's pictureLisa Shouldice

Navigating Throuple Dynamics: The Role of Effective Communication

Throuples have become far more common these days haven't they?

What I often end up supporting people through to ensure a healthy throuple is identifying needs, communication and boundaries.

It is important to identify what you need from you partner(s). Are you a quality time person? Do you need time alone with each partner, or time with all three of you connecting and hanging out? What about words of love/affirmation? Do you need to hear how loved and appreciated you are? Are both of your partner's equally good at meeting this need? You may have one partner great at Acts of Service, making you a wonderful breakfast. You may have another buying a token gift for you right now, after a bad week. Do each of your partner's make you feel loved in different ways?

How do you communicate your needs once you identify them? Do you need time together to mention something in a non-threatening, organic way? Do you need to sit down and check-in

regularly, have that safe container? Is there a particular topic in which you get heated or triggered? Ex. Parenting together? How do you communicate? In dyads or all together? How do you ensure toxic dyads don't develop, causing hurt feelings? This is more likely if your family dynamic included feeling closer to one parent than the other, in traditional families.

What boundaries do you need respected to feel safe? Is sex only something that happens all together? Or is all sex and affection Ok as long as communication is flowing? Is there a need to set time aside to ensure connection? How do you communicate you're going through a tough time and need more than usual from your partner(s)? Or do you need space when going through something hard? How do you communicate this?

3 ideas for today: Identify Needs, Healthy Communication, Ensure Boundaries for Emotional Safety.

15 views2 comments


TJ Gray
Apr 01

Would love to see more on this topic. Not currently in a trouple but I feel this is where I belong

Lisa Shouldice
Lisa Shouldice
Apr 01
Replying to

Thanks for the feedback. I certainly will look at writing more about the Throuple relationships.

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