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  • Writer's pictureLisa Shouldice

This Story Broke My Heart. What happened to Nex Benedict?

Sitting with our feelings isn't an easy task. Sitting with our grief feels even more difficult. Sitting with the feeling of why? How? How could this happen? seems impossible. Trying to make some sense of something so senseless. The feeling of heartbreak, the ache of it all. You can almost feel your heart breaking into little pieces that can never be put back together again. You almost know that from this moment on, you will never be the same again. How could you be?

What happened that we got to this point? Is it hate? Is it confusion? Is it "taking sides" ? is it fear? Is it learned behaviour? Is it "bad parenting" ? Evil? I guess I'm at a loss because I honestly don't know. What I do know is, its beyond sad, beyond senseless, and beyond a tragedy. A young person has left us way too soon at the age of 16yrs.

This situation between these young people is disturbing because it appears they don't know how to act, treat, or interact with one another in any way. Do they not know how to use words instead of going so quickly to violence? Why? How? Do they feel that being different and being unique is a threat to them? Isn't it what makes the world more interesting? Isn't that what teaches us different things?

I guess this story has hit me harder than I want to admit because from what I have read, this was also my story growing up. I was different from the other kids at school. I wore different clothes, listened to different music, and my hair was different. I knew I was gay. I even played with masculine energies. Today, we call it non-binary or demi-boy. I was just expressing myself and just being ME. Isn't that what being 16yrs is all about? Expressing ourselves, trying to figure things out? A time to express your individuality. A time to be "weird" & Quirky.

If we move from our feelings too quickly, it can sometimes do more harm in our healing process. We really do need to sit with these feelings and let them take the space they need. If we don't give them that space, we could move on too quickly and jump to anger, or fear, even resentment. These feelings of anger "seem' like they are there to protect us but really don't. It actually does the opposite. Anger tends to lash out and we are unable to listen with compassion to the other side and LISTEN. That's what we need. To LISTEN! Listen to each other. We all have a story and it is our story. We are ready to hear it when you are ready to tell it.

Written from a support staff member at

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