Holiday Stress: Getting Through the Holidays in a Healthy Way While Maintaining Resilient Mental Health

Do you find that the holidays are more stressful than fun and relaxing?

Do you love the holidays but find all the busyness gets in the way of that inherent joy?

Let’s talk about how to get you through the holidays in the most optimal way possible!

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Communicate

Communicate with your partner and extended family members.  Take the time to talk about what is important this year, how much you want to spend.

Try to get a sense of what events are expected and must be attended, Ex. Office party, in-laws yearly Christmas dinner. Try to get those in the calendar right away.

Then take the time to decide what the fav must-have holiday activities are, Ex. Tree cutting, cookie bake off, neighbour get-togethers. Then you can sprinkle these in over the holidays in a way that feels more manageable.

Decide if you want to host this year. You don’t have to every year. It is a huge job and the holidays are supposed to be fun and rejuvenating too!

Ask everyone to bring a fav dish to avoid so much cooking. Ask your sister-in-law to come early and help decorate.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Plan Ahead

As you can see in the above section, a major piece to communicating is with the goal to plan ahead. It will allow setting expectations and being on the same page.

This can include everything from dietary restrictions to a gift your child needs and you could use financial support by bringing family in to ensure they get it.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Conflict resolution

What do you do when it gets out of hand?

Is there a person in your life you find challenging and you fight with more often?

If tensions arise, try waiting until a tension release moment and then regroup. Revisit the decisions you made when you sat down earlier in the season. Have things changed?

Communicate to accommodate change. Is it possible to divide and conquer?

It can also give you a moment to pause, regulate and reconsider Ex. I thought I wanted to go out for New Year’s Eve, but I am tired and wondering if a quiet day of reflection is best for me.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Set Boundaries

Do you have a family that includes high expectations?

Maybe only going for the day, no overnights is best this year.

You may be trying to get the new baby on a sleep schedule and being out of routine is especially hard for the whole family.  

You may need to dig deep and let others know. Sometimes we will be assertive for our loved ones even though it seems impossible to do it for ourselves.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Prioritize

Really reflect on what feels the MOST important this year. I know we feel we have to do everything, but that is an unrealistic expectation. There will always be Christmas parties on the same day. Know what your priorities are and learn to say no graciously.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Work as a Team

This can definitely make the holidays smoother at times.

Can you divide and conquer?

Can you get your partner to set boundaries as this is easier for them than yourself?

There is often one partner that plans and schedules everything. They are a great coordinator and seem to do it effortlessly.

However, what often drives this is old trauma responses and feeling things won’t otherwise get done. So planning ahead, communicating and prioritizing can ensure that the planner in your life feels supported.

Getting Through Holiday Stress: Self-care

Make sure you work in days for necessary self-care. Carve out a day to curl up with a book and look at your beautiful Christmas tree. No one has to know you’re free! Lol.

You will be better able to bring your best self to family events, avoiding irritability and fear you are disappointing others.

Conclusion

Let’s find a way to remember that the holiday season is about reflection and reconnection. They balance each other perfectly but most of us find one easier than the other! But time for reflection ensures our reconnections are more genuine and fulfilling.

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